【美国JRS之声】蠢哭了！奇葩受伤百科全书|乔丹科比德克无一幸免|阿里纳斯蛋疼

assholeeric(53级) 2015-08-02 11:36

【美国JRS之声】蠢哭了！奇葩受伤百科全书|乔丹科比德克无一幸免|阿里纳斯蛋疼 由 assholeeric 发表在虎扑篮球·湿乎乎的话题http://bbs.hupu.com/vote

蠢到哭的受伤百科全书

Charles Barkley: Sir Charles missed the Phoenix Suns' 1994-95 season opener because the first layers of his corneas got burned off by body lotion during an Eric Clapton concert. Apparently, allergies and the dazzling stage lights caused him to rub his eyes, and he got lotion in them. Phoenix Suns team doctor, Richard Emerson, said: "It was a chemical reaction to a type of lotion that he uses. I wouldn't anticipate it'll reoccur because I don't think he'll use that type again."

查尔斯巴克利：查尔斯巴克利因伤错过了1994-1995赛季太阳的揭幕战，他的眼角膜被一种润肤露灼伤了,事故发生地点：吉他大师埃里克克拉普顿的音乐会上。显然，爵士似乎对现场的某些东西过敏，而舞台上魔幻的灯光也让他目眩，于是乎，他伸出了自己肉嘟嘟的手指，揉了揉眼睛，就这样，把润肤乳抹进了眼睛里。太阳队医，理查德埃莫森对此事评论到：“他常用的一种润肤乳导致了一些神奇的化学反应。这样的伤病不会再发生了，我想他肯定不会再用这牌子了。”

BJ Tyler : Prior to the 1995-96 NBA season, Tyler was selected by the Toronto Raptors in the 1995 expansion draft. According to journalist Chris Young's book Drive, Tyler accidentally fell asleep with a pack of ice on his knee, severely damaging it and thus losing all the speed for which he was famed, and subsequently had to retire."

BJ 泰勒：1995-1996赛季前，泰勒被多伦多猛龙队在那届扩充的选秀大会中选中。根据记者克里斯杨的书中所言，泰勒在膝盖上绑着冰袋的情况下，一不小心睡着了，低温严重损坏了他的膝盖，自此他失去了赖以为生的速度，黯然退役。

Brad Miller : Miller needed nine stitches in his right index finger after almost chopping it off with a knife while doing dishes last season...on the same day he was named Western Conference Player of the Week for the second time in his career. Said Miller: "It's the last time I help do dishes." Said teammate Mikki Moore: "When I saw him, it was all wrapped up. So, I said, 'You're going to drop 20 and 20 in two games and then go and cut your knuckle off?' I said, 'That's real smart, Brad.' "

布拉德米勒：米勒在做饭时，险些把自己的右手食指割下来，导致缝了9针之多。在同一天，他职业生涯第二次被评选为西部周最佳。米勒：“我这辈子都不想再做菜了。”队友摩尔对此事评论到“当我看到他的时候，手指已经被包起来了，我对他说，朋友，你干了两场20+20后，挥刀自断手指？真是个聪明的决定！ ”

Corey Maggette : During the 2001-02 season, Maggette got so upset over a call that he slammed his hand on the scorer's table in frustration and dislocated the ring and little fingers on his right hand. Maggette ended up with a four-week vacation.

科里马盖蒂：2001-2002赛季中，马盖蒂对一次吹罚非常不满，挥拳怒砸记分台，然而，砸到了记分台上的铃上，导致小拇指脱臼，伤停4周。

Darko Milicic : Ah, Darko, Darko, Darko. He was put in for what was described as a "token" appearance in the Pistons' Game 5 blowout of the Lakers in the 2004 NBA Finals. He played 2 minutes, finishing with 1 rebound, 1 steal, 1 turnover...and 1 broken hand. Oh yes he did. The injury required surgury and sidelines him for eight weeks.

达科米利西奇：啊哈，达科，达科，达科。2004年总决赛第5场，活塞吊打湖人的比赛中，作为人形胜利雪茄，米利西奇被派上场，宣告胜利到来。他一共打了2分钟，1个篮板，一次抢断，一次失误。。。还有，一只断手。。。没错，他弄坏了自己的手，手术治疗，伤缺八周。

Derrick Coleman : Coleman -- whose NBA career was limited and cut short due to laziness, character issues and injury problems -- got injured again, only this time it happened while filming an episode of the TV show Pros vs. Joes. DC was participating in a rebounding challenge against some "average joe" when he came down from a jump and landed awkwardly, hurting his always-troublesome knee. This means that Coleman has the dubious distinction of being the first Pro to ever get injured during battle with a Joe.

德里克科尔曼：科尔曼，一个因为懒惰，性格和伤病问题生涯受限且短暂的球员，又一次受伤了。这一次是因为在拍摄“美国极限挑战”《Pros vs. Joes》中一段小插曲时，他接受了一个篮板挑战，对抗一群勇敢的志愿者抢篮板。然后，再一次争抢中，科尔曼奋力起跳，落地体位产生了偏差，最终他的膝盖，问题不断的膝盖再次受伤。这也意味着，科尔曼成了该档节目中，第一个因对抗麻瓜受伤的职业选手。

Derrick Rose : The Bulls rookie (at the time) was forced to miss some practice time because, get ready for it, he cut himself under the elbow on his left forearm. In bed. From a knife he used to slice an apple. Said Rose: "Silly accident this morning. I went to get a bottle of water, forgot the knife was there and sat down and sliced my arm. I panicked when it first happened. I called [Bulls trainer Fred Tedeschi]. We got it stitched up about 8 [a.m.]. It was a large wound, but they healed it up. I'm good. I could have practiced, but they told me to wait until [today]. I can still dribble, shoot, do all that stuff. I'm hoping they'll let me play."

德里克罗斯：公牛新秀（当时）不得不错过一些集训时间。原因如下，请先吃口翔冷静下，罗斯在床上一不小心被一把自己用来削苹果的刀划伤了自己的左臂。罗斯：“这是一个纯二逼的失误，我想去搞杯水喝，但我忘了我的刀也在那边，当我坐下时，已经来不及了，手臂就这么伤了。当这一切发生时，我吓尿了。我打电话给公牛训练师弗里德，差不多八点的时候把手上的上口缝合。伤口很长，但已经搞定了。我现在很好，已经可以参加训练了。但他们让我再休息下，我还能各种过人，各种投篮，我还能干受伤前那些事情，希望教练组能让我上场。”

Dirk Nowitzki: In December 2001, before a game against the Washington Wizards, Dirk sprained a tendon in his ankle when he put his shoe on improperly and the stomped his foot on the floor to make sure it was on right. The injury was so bad he missed the game.

德克诺维斯基：2001年12月，在对阵华盛顿奇才的一场比赛前，德克扭伤了脚裸的韧带。原因是，他没把鞋穿好，然而为了确认下鞋穿没穿舒坦，他狠狠地跺了跺脚。。。你跺你也麻啊。。然后他就扭伤了，伤的还不轻，那场他没打。。。

Eddy Curry: E-City had to miss a game due to a badly sprained left ankle suffered at...a walk-through at his team's morning shoot-around. Nope. I'm not kidding. Said teammate Malik Rose: "How do you explain something like that?" Good question. A very good question.

埃迪库里：小鲨鱼埃迪库里在球队晨练自由投篮时，走着走着严重扭伤了左脚踝将缺战本场比赛。呵呵，我没有逗你。。。他的队友马里克罗斯对此说到：“这玩意儿得怎么跟你解释呐？”问的好。。。埃迪库里你不懂。。。真是个好问题。。。

Eddy Curry #2: here's another: Can a player suffer a more embarrassing injury than spraining his ankle during a walk-through? Well, the answer is "yes" my friends. From the New York Daily News: "Poor Eddy Curry. He sat on the giant blue physioball during a break from Monday's practice and the ball exploded. Eddy fell and scraped and his wrist but should be okay. The ball, which is used for stretching exercises, was pronounced dead at the scene." This also answers the classic "How do you know when you're too fat?" question. I thought those balls were indestructible.

埃迪库里：还有比走着走着扭到脚更扯蛋更羞耻的受伤吗？大兄弟，在埃迪库里身上，无奇不有。纽约日报“可怜的埃迪库里。周一球队训练间隙，艾迪库里坐在硕大的蓝色健身球上，球不堪其辱，选择自曝。。。艾迪摔了一跤，刮伤了手腕关节，但应该无大碍。而那个球，那个用来拉伸身体的球，抢救无效，宣布死亡。”这故事也能很好的回答那个经典问题“什么时候发现你自己肥成猪了？”。。。我原以为这种瑜伽球是不会爆的。。。

Francisco Garcia: He broke his arm...on a physioball. No, really. At least he wasn't so fat it exploded on him...

弗朗西斯科加西亚：手断了。。。理由：瑜伽球。真的。。。至少他没胖到球自曝。。。

George McCloud: Prior to Game 3 of the 1992 first round playoff series between the Indiana Pacers and the Boston Celtics, McCloud "held his ankle in a funny way" while talking on the phone. This somehow injured the ankle so badly he couldn't play in the game and had to sit on the bench in street clothes as his team got eliminated.

乔治麦克劳德：1992赛季东部季后赛第一轮，印第安纳VS波士顿第三场比赛之前，麦克劳德在打电话的时候，“以一种诡异的体位摆弄他的脚踝”。然后，脚踝严重受伤，导致他打不了比赛，眼睁睁看着球队被淘汰。。。

Gilbert Arenas: File this one under "unfortunate pube shaving accidents." Very unfortunate. I'll let Agent Zero tell the tale: "When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend's razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything -- just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers."

阿里纳斯：“剃须意外”。实在是点儿背到家，还是看看阿里纳斯自己怎么说的吧“那时我还是新兵蛋子，老将成功说服了我，我觉得刮胡子了，就在那里刮，因为他们说我这大胡子味道销魂。我用了我女朋友的剃须刀，那玩意儿老旧的厉害，刮得我坑坑洼洼瘢痕疙瘩。医生给我了点药，让我涂在上面，然而我懒得那么细致，就浑身抹了个遍。三天后，我疼到从梦中尖叫着醒来，我了个大擦啊，浑身上下烧起来了一样，蛋蛋皮，菊花残，这啊那啊的，浑身疼--像换层皮一样，浑身都是新肉啊，然而我还是不得不去参加比赛，所以在那一个月里，我用了一种*河蟹*，是自己减缓疼痛，直到痊愈。现在，打死我也不用那玩意儿刮胡子了。”

Greg Oden: You know that microfracture surgery that ended Oden's rookie season before it had even begun? It happened while he was getting up off the couch.

格雷格奥登：你知道那个毁了奥登大帝的微创手术吧？就是那个让他新秀赛季都打不完的手术。。。知道一开始是怎么伤的吗？从沙发上起来时伤的。。。

Greg Ostertag: Ostertag fractured the third metacarpal on his right hand in October of 2004 when he tripped on a footstool while getting out of bed. Mind you, this happened after his first day of practice with his new team, the Sacramento Kings.

奥斯特塔格：2004年10月右手起床时被脚凳绊倒，第3掌骨部骨折，提醒你，这发生在他到新加盟国王后的第1次训练后

Jeff Ruland: In 1991 Ruland made a comeback for the Sixers. He was out of action for five years but attempted to return for the 1991-92 season. However, the comeback ended because of...a luggage cart. Yes, a luggage cart, which was (allegedly) rammed into Ruland's leg by a Celtics employee as he waited for a team bus outside Boston Garden. (It should be noted that Ruland was not a popular in Boston, and he was even nicknamed "McNasty" by the Celtics' late great broadcaster Johnny Most.) Ruland said: "I got run over by a luggage cart. That's hard to swallow. It can't be accidental, they were moving too fast. Whoever could foresee anything like this happening?"

杰夫-卢兰德：1991年卢兰德复出加盟76人，他之前已退役5年，但尝试在91-92赛季复出，然而，复出却毁于一辆行李推车。是的，一辆行李推车，据传他在波士顿花园球馆外等待球队大巴时，一名凯尔特人的员工推车撞到了卢兰德的腿。（需要指出的是，卢兰德在波士顿并不受欢迎，凯尔特人的伟大的播音员Jonny Most甚至给他取了一个外号“麦下流”）卢兰德说：“我被一辆行李推车撞翻了，这难以忍受，这绝对不是偶然的，他们当时的速度太快了，谁能预见到这种事发生？”

Kendrick Perkins: Boston's big man (at the time) missed time due to a right big toe that was injured when he dropped a bed on it. "I was asleep. I guess whoever put my bed together didn't put it together right when I moved, so one side of my bed fell. My bed was tilted, so I got out of my bed to go push down on the other side. And when I was about getting ready to push down on the other side, the headboard started coming in. So I tried to push the headboard back so it wouldn't fall over. My foot was under the bed and the other side of the bed fell on my foot." Man, I hate it when that happens.

帕金斯：波士顿大个子在搬床时压到了右脚大拇指。“我当时在睡觉，感觉帮我装床的人没有装牢固，我移动床时一侧散落了下来。当时床是歪的，所以我下床想把他推到一边对齐，在推的时候，床头板就开始脱落了，我试图把床头板安回去好别掉下来，我的脚就在床下，床的一侧脱落就砸到了脚上，哎，这种事真闹心

Kevin Johnson: During the mid-90s, KJ won a regular season game on a buzzer-beating shot and received a crippling bear hug from teammate Charles Barkley. And I mean "crippling" in the literal sense. Chuck squeezed Kevin so hard his shoulder was dislocated. (At least Barkley didn't rub any body lotion in KJ's eyes.) He was out of action for the next two weeks. KJ also had hernia surgery in 1996 after years of abdominal problems that were allegedly brought on by picking up teammate Oliver Miller to celebrate a play.

凯文约翰逊：在90年代中期，约翰逊在一场常规赛命中压哨绝杀，队友巴克利熊抱庆祝时因为用力过猛而造成约翰逊肩膀脱臼，因此约翰逊缺席了2周。在96年时约翰逊还接受了疝气手术，因为曾经庆祝一哥球时抱起队友奥利弗米勒时伤到了腹部

Kobe Bryant: He hurt his back. Vacuuming. But he says it's because of vacuum size discrimination.

科比布莱恩特：他使用吸尘器时伤到了背部。但是他说这是因为吸尘器尺寸歧视的锅

Larry Bird: In the fall of 1988, Bird was attempting a comeback from dual-Achilles surgery when he permanently injured in his back. How? He was undercut by Michael Jordan, who then fell on Bird...in the Kenny Rogers Charity Basketball Tournament in Kentucky. According to his second autobiography, Bird said: "We were in the final minutes of this charity basketball game when I went up for a rebound and came down a little sideways. Michael Jordan was going for the ball too, and he landed on my back. Right away I knew I was in trouble，and my back was really traumatized.."

拉里伯德：在88年春天，伯德试图从双重跟腱手术中复出时，他的背部遭受到了永久性损伤。知道怎么回事吗？他当时被乔丹压在了背上，而且这还发生在场肯塔基的Kenny Rogers慈善赛里。根据他的第2本自传中，伯德说“我们当时的慈善赛还有最后几分钟就结束了，我起跳抢篮板球时，落地有点偏向一旁。乔丹当时也在冲抢，他就压在了我的后背上，我马上就感觉到不妙，我的背部真的伤得很厉害。

Latrell Sprewell: The man who once choked his coach, broke his hand by taking a swing at the boyfriend of a female party guest who threw up on his yacht. But it seems that Spree's punches were roughly as accurate as his jumpers (42 percent lifetime): He whiffed and punched the wall instead. Sprewell tried to cover up the incident, but some of his guests leaked the story and the Knicks fined Spree $250,000 for not reporting the injury. Sprewell complained about it to the press. "They talk about being a family but they're not sticking with me. The biggest thing to me is that I'm hurt. So don't kick me when I'm down."

斯普瑞威尔：这家伙曾经掐过他的教练，在他的游艇上曾因为对一名女性的男友挥拳而伤到手，但看上去他的拳头命中率和投篮差不多（生涯42%），他抡空后打在了墙上。狂人试图封锁这个消息，但是他的客人泄露了这个故事，尼克斯当时因为他隐瞒伤情罚了他25万美元。他还在媒体那解释这个事：”尼克斯说好的要像一个大家庭一样，结果却没站在我这边，重要的是我真的受伤了啊，不要在雪上加霜了好嘛“

Lionel Simmons: Simmons suffered an injury during the 1990-91 season: He missed two games with wrist tendonitis caused by overtraining on his Nintendo Game Boy.

Note that, a year later, Derrick McKey missed seven games with the same injury.

莱昂内尔席梦思：西蒙斯在90-91赛季受伤：他错过了2场比赛,原因是玩任天堂掌机时用力过猛，而得了腕关节炎。注意，一年后，德里克麦基也因为同样的伤错过了7场比赛

Luc Longley: During the 1996-97 season, the Bulls lost Longley's services for seven weeks after he got hurt body surfing. Yeah. Luc was body-surfing off the coast of Los Angeles coast when an unexpectedly strong wave drove him shoulder-first into the ocean floor and knocked his clavicle and shoulder out of place.

鲁克郎利：在96-97赛季，郎利因为冲浪受伤缺席了公牛7周的比赛，是的，郎利是在洛杉矶海岸冲浪时因为遇到一次格外强烈的大浪而造成肩膀撞到了海岸，结果锁骨和肩膀脱臼

Michael Jordan: Although MJ was already kinda sorta unofficially retired (again), Jordan severed a tendon in his right index finger (i.e., on his shooting hand) while using a cigar cutter in January 1999. Officially listed as a "a laceration of the flexor tendon," Jordan needed surgery to repair it and six weeks of occupational therapy to rehabilitate it.

迈克乔丹：虽然乔丹已经正式退役了，1999年1月乔丹在使用雪茄切割器时造成投篮手右手的食指键受伤。官方所说的是”屈肌键撕裂“，乔丹需要手术修复，因此缺席6周

Muggsy Bogues: The tiny, tiny man (who was playing for the Toronto Raptors at the time) missed the second half of a game against the Portland Trailblazers after accidentally sucking in some ointment fumes during a halftime treatment. Said Bogues: "Never happened to me before and I hope it never happens again. That was one of those fluke things you don't even dream about."

小虫博格斯：这个小个子当时效力于猛龙，在对波特兰的比赛中场治疗时因为意外吸入药膏气体而缺席了下半场比赛。博格斯说：”以前从没遇到过这种事，希望以后也不会再发生了，这完全是那种你做梦也梦不到的意外事故“

Ruben Patterson: This entry harkens back to 2003, during Portland's infamous "Jail Blazer" era. Patterson ended up with a shiny black eye thanks to a five-knuckeled "hello" from teammate Zach Randolph. Patterson, who earlier that season had been arrested on suspicion of domestic assault, was arguing with Qyntel Woods, who himself had been recently cited by Portland police on marijuana possession charges after a traffic stop, when Randolph stepped in and sucker-punched Patterson. While, it should be noted, Patterson was being restrained by teammates. Nice, huh? Patterson then promised not to retaliate...until his probation expired in May (it was April at the time). Good times all around.（翻译题）

Scott Williams: While playing for the Chicago Bulls during the Michael Jordan-less 1993-94 season, Williams had a string of bizarre injuries. First, he missed four days of practice after straining his shoulder at the team's annual bowling outing. A few days later, he hurt his back lifting a TV he bought on sale. Then, later in the season, he injured a tendon behind his right kneecap while stretching, and that was the end of his season.

斯科特威廉姆斯：在效力于公牛时，在乔丹退役的93-94赛季，威廉姆斯遭受到了一连串匪夷所思的受伤。首先，他在球队年度的保龄赛里拉伤了肩膀，因此错过四天训练。几天后，他又在举起他买的电视机时伤到了背部，然后赛季末期，他又在拉伸时伤到了膝盖骨键，这让他赛季报销

Vladimir Radmanovi膰: In February of 2007, Radmanovi膰 separated his shoulder falling on a patch of ice in Park City, Utah. Or so he claimed. But a few days later, Radmanovi膰 admitted that he had actually hurt himself in a fall while snowboarding. Said the Radman: "The truth is that I hurt myself in a fall while snowboarding. Being young and sometimes immature, I initially panicked and made up a false story about how I hurt myself. However, over the past few days my conscience has been bothering me terribly. I am not a dishonest person and could no longer live with this deception. Therefore, I came forward today and told the truth to the Lakers." Mind you, his contract specifically banned him from taking part in activities that involve significant risk of injury, including skiing and snowboarding. The space cadet was fined $500,000.

拉德马诺维奇：2007年2月，滑雪男，在犹他州公园城摔倒了在一片冰上，至少他自己是这么说的。但是几天后，拉德马诺维奇承认他是在滑雪时摔倒的。他说“事实是，我在滑雪时受伤的，我图样图森破了，开始我恐慌并编造了伤情故事，但是过去几天里，我的良心鞭笞了我，我并不是个不诚实的人，受不了这种欺骗的不安。因此我今天跟湖人讲了实情”。提醒你，他的合同里明确写明了，禁止参加高风险受伤的活动，包括滑雪滑冰。这个妄人因此被罚款50万美刀

各位JRS，想自己参与JRS之声嘛？想用你的翻译给虎扑JRS带来欢乐嘛？

不要求你多专业，不要求你多牛逼，只要你爱JRS之声，有一定的英语能力就行

有意者请PM@OPSP1203和@assholeeric，和我们一起添砖加瓦！

（翻译题，奇葩受伤）

微信公众号：ChinaReddit，还处于成长之中~希望能够得到你们更多的改善建议

微博：虎扑美国JRS之声：http://weibo.com/u/5544594084

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如果你喜欢 assholeeric的文章，可以。

OPSP1203赞助了 10虎扑币

一见不日，如隔三秋

assholeeric(53级) 2015-08-02 11:39亮了(0)

蠢到哭。。。和stupid death有的一拼

无辜遭黑帮枪击 只因为认错人

兰德里曾经的枪击事件相信大家都不会忘记，当时兰德里开车出门准备买吃的，突然有一辆车从侧面冲过来撞了他的车一下，随后那辆车上的人开枪打伤了兰德里的小腿，兰德里开车跑了6个街区才逃离了那些杀手的视线。事后证明，休斯敦的黑帮杀错人了。

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Bruce鲍文(18级) 2015-08-02 11:44亮了(0)

全美直播波波让TD轮休

给联盟的报告是太老了…算不算

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第一次这么前？

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拜皇的保龄球...

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凯文-约翰逊：在90年代中期，约翰逊在一场常规赛命中压哨绝杀，队友巴克利熊抱庆祝时因为用力过猛而造成约翰逊肩膀脱臼，因此约翰逊缺席了2周。

论巴克利的杀伤力，求约翰逊的心理阴影面积

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